You're sick and tired of your boring, dead-end job. Maybe it's the endless onslaught of idiotic customers with the exact same problems. Or maybe your mental health is slowly but surely fading away by having to constantly listen to the inane jabbering of your pompous boss, thinking he's the king of the world because he has some slice of authority.
Well today you can tell that son-of-a-bitch to shove it, because you have a new career: a jewelry thief.
My name is Sir Sneak and I am a professional jewelry thief. My career has plenty of advantages you've probably never even thought of. I live in a mansion, own a helicopter, date hot babes average joes could never lay their hands on, and generally live my life in the kind of luxury only fit for a king.
Why Steal Jewelry and Precious Gemstones?
Jewelry and gemstones are lightweight, undetectable by police dogs, and very - very valuable. The demand for high-quality precious jewelry is insatiable - young spoiled wives of the world will demand glittery jewelry and over-priced diamonds till the literal end of time.
The 3 Golden Rules of A Successful Jewelry Thief
There's three simple things you're going to HAVE to learn if you want to become a good jewelry thief. Fail to follow these rules will result in your ultimate demise, so don't mess it up.
1. Loose lips sink ships. Bragging about your heists to your friends is a big mistake and will send you straight to jail: do not pass go, do not collect $200.
2. There is no honor among thieves. Movies like "Ocean's Eleven" might give you the idea that you need a team to succeed, but more often than not it's the team that will bring you down. Not only will you have to split the loot, but the more people involved the greater the chance you'll have of getting caught. There's always a weak link in the chain.
3. An ounce of planning is worth a pound of cure. As technology gets better, so does the security surrounding those precious little gems. Spend months carefully planning your heist, because if you don't you'll be spending years planning how to break out of jail. Which would you rather have?
The Tools of The Trade
- Leather Gloves. Because we all know what fingerprints do.
- A Mask. If you don't have a mask, make sure you smile for the security cameras.
- A Crowbar. Never leave home without it.
- An Industrial Drill and Bits. If you don't know how to crack a safe, then you can always resort to using force with a drill and sharp bits.
- A Flashlight. Use it sparingly, as it will attract attention to you.
- Slip-Proof Shoes. Sometimes accidents happen.
- Your Brain. Dumb thieves don't last long. When in doubt: Google it like these safe-crackers did.
Targeting the Right Places
Scout the locations of your heists carefully, some establishments only hold $1,000's of dollars worth of jewelry and gems, while other places millions. Consider the diamond cutting capitol of Antwerp, Belgium, where 85% of the worlds rough dimaonds make a pit stop. Places like Paris, France also make good targets because of their high-priced lifestyles - and the stealable jewelry that comes along with it.
Selling Off Your Loot
Some of your "earnings" will be easier to sell than others. As a general rule of thumb, jewelry is far easier to sell than diamonds. Buying stolen gems can be a serious crime and diamonds and other gemstones can also be indetified through a number of ways, including etched numbers on the diamonds themeselves. Chances are, you're going to have to settle for a fence and only get a small fraction of what the jewelry is really worth.
How Much You Can Make as An International Jewelry Thief?
The amount you can make really depends on your ambition. The best thieves of history have set the bar pretty high so far - check out 3 of the largest gem and jewelry heists in the world.
The Great Antwerp Diamond Center Heist
Location: Antwerp, Belgium
Haul: $100+ million.
Status: Caught.
On the weekend of 15/16 February 2003, as the city's attention was distracted by the Diamond Games tennis tournament - won by Venus Williams - the Antwerp Diamond Centre became the scene of the biggest gem robbery in history.
The raid is believed to have been carried out by a gang of veteran Italian robbers, known as The School of Turin. The gang managed to bypass cameras, bars and 12-inch thick reinforced doors to gain entry to the vaults and steal over $100 million worth of precious gems.
The Harry Winston Robbery
Location: Paris, France.
Haul: $28 million.
Status: At Large.
According to the police, four or five masked men entered the Harry Winston boutique at 10 a.m. on Oct. 6 - a shop just around the corner from a local police station and mere footsteps from the tourist hordes of Paris's best-known avenue, the Champs-Élysées.
One by one, the armed robbers overwhelmed the six employees arriving for work, then calmly asked them to open the safe. They vanished with a bag full of heavy necklaces and gems, including a large diamond worth about $3,000,000. None of the employees were hurt.
The Le Supre-Diamante Coutre de Maki Heist
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Haul: $31.5 million.
Thieves: Caught.
Recorded as the biggest jewelry heist ever in Japan, 2 members from the 4-member gang called the "Pink Panther" robbed the Le Supre-Diamant Couture de Maki store in Ginza, Tokyo in broad daylight. They made off with a handful of pieces, including a 125-carat necklace encrusted with 116 diamonds and boasting a worth of over $20 million alone.
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April 9, 2008
4 Things That Should Never, Ever Get Bling
I don't hate bling. In fact, I like jewelry when it's tasteful - a necklace, bracelet, that's perfectly fine. But people these days seem to have more money than they know what to do with, and this breeds something called "Stupid Bling".
1. Hot Girls.
While tasteful necklaces, rings, and bracelets will improve appearance, there's nothing that ruins a hot babes immaculate look swifter than a bad piece of bling.
Case in point: Kendra Wilkinson from the Girls Next Door.
This jewel incrusted set of chompers made by Johnny Dang not only made her look really ugly, it made Holly my new favorite.
2. Gadgets.
Laptops, iPods, Cellphones. These little gadgets many people can't live without.
If you thought these gadgets were already obvious targets of petty thieves, there's nothing that screams "Steal me, please!" more than a gold plated laptop or a 63-diamond MP3 player. What's wrong with people?
3. Miscellaneous Objects.
As the world food crises rages on, people are still decorating random objects like cakes with $130,000 worth of platinum and gems, as well as the same treatment on things like cups.
Cups? WTF!?
4. Pets.
"Crafted with artisan precision and attention to detail, Amour Amour is the world's most exquisite dog collar that only the one pampered pooch will have the privilege to wear." This $1.8 million dollar dog collar shouldn't even exist. I promse Rover can't tell the difference between a real diamond and a fake diamond, so if you're a logical sane individual the obvious choice is a fake diamond if you really MUST decorate your pet.
Colette Case, an animal behavioural psychologist working in London, said: "Dogs are increasingly becoming an expression of the status of their owners, who compete with each other to have the nicest collar and most expensive gear. If someone has £12,000 to spend on a pendant for their dog, I suspect it will be pretty well looked after."
Sometimes I wonder how these people ever get this kind of money to blow in the first place.
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January 29, 2008
A Summary of the Designer Jewelry Collection
It was back in the late nineteen-seventies that world was first introduced to the the jewelry designs and creations of Designer. 
Back then it was his uniquely designed coiled cable bracelet that caught the publics eye and ever since that time Designer has been busy coming up with jewelry designs to satisfy a public that continues to clamor for his work.
The fact is, that as it stands right now Designer has uniquely designed creations that feature his trade mark look no matter what you are in the market for. This is because over the past two and a half decades Designer has been busy in his design studios coming up with a whole series of collections that he has brought out year after year, so it is simply impossible to list all that is currently available in one short article.
However; many do carry unique quality's that one might find noteworthy. For instance his collection of dog tags are well worth taking a look at for a number of reasons. Who would have dared to dream that an item first designed to be worn on the bodies by solders for quick and easy identification if they were wounded or killed could be turned into a high fashion item.
Designer not only made it work but his dog tags are beautiful to behold and they are even available for women. Designer's petrified red dinosaur bone dog tags are truly special and the unique pattern in the polished stone holds a story that has remained hidden for millions of years ineach and every piece.
The woven look is featured in the Designer X collection and if you havn't seen woven gold yet you are in for a big surprise when you do. Your eyes can't help but be drawn to it like magnets and the way that the woven pattern in the gold piece brings a softness to its overall look in spite of it's being made of metal is truly amazing.
Of course Designer features an endless choice in design styles in rings for both men and women from the various collections that he has introduced over the years and many of them feature the cable motif that is a staple of Designer designs.
The amazing thing about Designer jewelry as a whole, is that there is such a wide range of prices to choose from when making a jewelry selection. This doesn't mean that a person has to settle for a simple stick pin if they don't have a whole lot of money to spend either.
This is because, Designer has experimented in virtually all types of metals, precious and semi precious stones and knows how to bring out the best in whatever it is that he is working with. So no matter if you have a hundred or a thousand dollars to spend on a ring, bracelet or necklace you will have no trouble finding just what you are looking for and won't have to compromise an inch on quality or integrity.
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October 3, 2007
Designer Replica Necklaces
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You can purchase all types of fashion jewelry but none have as much of an impact on your overall look as the necklace you are wearing. One of the most popular and well known jewelry designers in the world is Designer - Designer replica necklaces come inspired from his award winning creations. As their popularity and demand grew the need for a more reasonably priced line came about.
These days you are able to get the same sophistication and uniqueness of Designer’s high class fashion line without having to pay the high prices. Necklaces are so important to your outfit because they often become the main focal point. You can wear a basic cocktail dress and add an amazing Designer replica necklace to transform your look from boring to stunning.
The Best Thing About Designer Replica Necklaces
The great thing about Designer replica necklaces is that they come in a massive selection of styles and shapes. You can choose a necklace that is a long flowing rope style all the way up to a tight fitting choker. You will find that Designer replicas are the perfect way to stay up on the most current trends and designs in the fashion world.
The prices of Designer replica jewelry including necklaces, rings, earrings, and bracelets are so reasonable that they are the perfect gift for your family, friends, and co workers. They can be given as a birthday, wedding, anniversary, or on any other special occasion and are sure to be cherished.
Tips For Choosing Your Designer Replica Necklace
When you are selecting a Designer replica necklace there are so many different styles to choose from that you need to take the wearer’s personal style and build into consideration prior to making any purchases. Think about the types of outfits they wear and are likely to pair the necklace with.
Take your time because choosing the right piece of jewelry makes all the difference in the world. The entire collection is amazing so it will be difficult to select only one item. Take the length of the necklace into consideration when you are purchasing for someone else as a gift, or for your self. You wouldn’t want the breathtaking necklace that you gave them to be hidden in their neckline where they can’t get any compliments on it.
If you find that your necklace is lost in your neckline then you will want to invest in a shorter chain to solve this problem, or find a way to shorten the chain if possible. When you are giving away an exquisite Designer replica necklace as a token of love and appreciation you want to make sure that it fits properly so that it can be fully enjoyed by the wearer.
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